Hello friends and family. Today, instead of a bible study, I am doing something a bit different today. This is a rather personal account; I feel the need to express this through my writings because of the intensity of it all. This surreal moment is something that caught me off guard, but I give glory to God because of the supreme blessing that is in this experience. If anyone else has ever had a moment like this, feel free to leave a comment below, I’d love to hear how God is working in your life and for everyone to be continually encouraged : )
Here goes nothing…
Today, I find myself alone, sitting in a busy Starbucks with this Macbook, listening to “All that I Am” by Rend Collective rather loudly through my headphones; my mind is afar off in thought. I realize I have some things I need to get off my chest. My heart beats fast and is heavy. It’s not always easy admitting when you have failed or you were wrong. As I face myself it comes to my attention that I am sitting here in the presence of God. Right in this moment, it is as if we are the only two life forms in the world. As I contemplate this thought, the gap between who he is and who I am, grows wider in my mind and it comes to my realization; how immensely flawed I really am. What is even harder to grasp, is the greatness of the Lord we serve. Creator of the universe, matchless and mighty; I need him like water. Without him there is no life; and with him are all things encompassed in life. Compared to me, the contrast is colossal and undeniable. Something so clean; is magnified next to filth. Something so pure; appears even purer next to something so polluted. All knowing, he even knows me. My dynamics, my interests, my secrets. I am exposed in the deepest sense. Nothing can be hidden from him.
Psalm 113:5 (NIV)
“Who is like the LORD our God, the One who sits enthroned on high?”
Nothing in this universe deserves the glory and praise that is rightly due to the Father alone. He without question, is mighty- stronger than the grave. The thought is all consuming- affecting my whole being right down to my nerve endings; it continues to penetrate me straight to the soul. I feel touched to the innermost part of my being. I don’t know how to handle it. How can one person bear the truth of the world? I guess that knowing Him is the only way we can. What an awesome God we serve. He gives us the capacity to know Him on such an intimate level. Our God is truly wondrous; not because of His innumerable works but by who He is alone. His works are marvelous on their own. To understand God is to realize how little we truly understand.
This overall thought is both scary and awesome. I feel it is almost too much for my humanness to take. Every ounce of my humanness has to be used to comprehend it.
I pray that you can feel my heart through what I am saying in these words. This has been the raw version of my existence on this late April day. This is my reality. This is beauty. This is freedom. This is redemption. Praise the King.
Lifted Vision Ministry 